I’m in the final year of my twenties and I’ve experienced the heartbreak of my lifetime.
This time it was not expected. We weren’t defined as a couple, but we loved just as deeply as any couple could have. Sure, we had our rough days but for the most we were a great team. Best friends. We saw each other through the worst days in each other’s lives, we lived together for the better half of two years and shared every moment. Every secret, and every joy and every well everything!
But a little over two months ago he left. At the time I thought it would only be geological change, but now it appears that it was a change in every way. I am halfway between heartache and freedom. The part that breaks my heart is that I’m missing my best friend. He taught me so much about myself, gave me the power to see myself in a better light than I ever did before. But the feeling freedom comes from the times where he also limited me. There were things he found unacceptable about me, or that weren’t fit for public knowledge. I didnt agree with things he did either, and it ended up being a constant war of who disapproved of who more rather than supportive. And he left. We said we’d see each other and keep in touch, but we have definitely lost what we had. The worst part is that I’m the only one who never saw it happening. My mom and all the people around me aren’t surprised in the least… which makes me sad because they’re making him out to seem like a bad person. And I can see why, but I also knew him better and therefore know that he is in fact a good guy… We just outgrew each other, Sure, he’s the one who physically left, but I was the first one to express the need for change. I talked about moving to New York in the fall. And I was making all the plans to, and he was here, watching all of the hustle and bustle. So, if I were to analyze everything… he may have been the one to pack up his things and leave… But I was the one who mentally checked out.
However, his moving jarred me back to reality with a hard kick and knocked me off my feet. I realized that while I wanted all the other things in my life, he was the one I wanted to share it all with. For all my dreams to fully come true, I’d hoped that he would be the one who would always be there.
But, I guess I was wrong.
Have you ever felt torn between the life you want and the life you had? When making the transitions into your happy future, what blessings did you have to face losing?😢
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Go out and love!