Doing OR Don’ting in life: The fear is always there either way.

There’s fear if we do the things in our lives that we want to do, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of finding out your life-long/biggest dream isn’t going to work, fear of hard work, fear of pain both emotional and physical, fear of loneliness, fear of not conforming to society “properly”, and the like.

However there are just as many fears that come with the “don’ts” as well. If we don’t follow our dreams, there is the fear of staying put or settling, the fear of being tormented the rest of your life for not trying, the fear of staying in one place, the fear of what other people will think.

No matter what these will always be the two thoughts people have when making decisions for their life. That’s a fact, and probably won’t change, because it’s part of our nature as humans. But what’s also part of our nature as humans is our ability to choose between our do’s and don’ts, and determine which is more important, and will be the best option for you.

Up until this point in my life, I’ve chosen the easier “DON’T” approach, and just let my dreams glide further and further away, because I thought I’d be safer if I stayed put. But now, my mind is opening and I’m seeing more light and leaning harder towards choosing to go after my dreams knowing I’d rather look back in 30-50 years (the time bracket I hope to live into), and also knowing that I embraced more of my do fears, and fewer of my don’t fears and lived a full and exciting life. Even if by the time I get to my end, I can’t remember them myself, I’ll at least know others can and will remember.


Old World vs. New World- Yay or Nay?

Friday night, while everyone is celebrating the end of the first work week of 2018, I am sitting in my bed searching through the online movie catalogues to watch as I wind down for the night and as I scrolled through the endless sea of what to watch, my mind traveled back in time to when I was a little girl, and it was the weekend and the choices for movie watching were either to go to a theatre and watch the newest releases on the big screen with your parents, or friends and a big ol’ bag of the butteriest, greasiest popcorn and Raisinettes, or to beg your parents to take you to the local video rental store. For me, my best memories are walking into “Home Video” in my town, where when you walked in, was either a billiards table room on the left, or the land of movies on your right. You walk in, say “Hi!” to the man or woman behind the counter, and rush on past to graze among the millions of VHS tapes, to choose what would be your newest view… or 100,000th view because you just LOVED some of them you had to see them way more than once. I used to stand in there for what seemed like hours, just ogling the selection, and then making your choice, only to find that the little poker chip that was to be dangling on the hook with the coinciding number attached to the VHS box was not there, so you had to run back to the front and ask the cashier whether it had been returned yet. Sometimes, you’d be disappointed, and have to march back and start your search all over again, but other times, your luck would win out and it would be in the back in the dropbox bin and you’d go home feeling like it was your luckiest day. Yup, those were the days… the biggest bonus about going to the theatre or video store happened when you’d see your friends and fellow classmates, or friends of your parents’ or… an even bigger thrill would be when your crush walked in and your butterflies would flutter around in your tummy, and you’d take even longer to make your choice and wait until you saw them heading for the counter, so you’d just look, and grab the quickest watchable movie in your sight, just so you could hustle to the counter just to stand in line behind them and hope that they noticed you, and pray that they may even speak to you. Even just your name, or “Hi.”… We had it pretty good back then, and although technology has made things so much more convenient, I miss those special moments. The physical presence of going out and mingling with fellow movie watchers… you just don’t get that in the new world like you used to. Now, people all over have too much social anxiety and depression going on in their heads, that we’ve begun hiding in our private, safe little home-world instead of walking outside just to enjoy the simple things like going for walks, or out to coffee/drinks with friends, or even just going out to enjoy a nice dinner with a special someone, or someone you HOPE will turn out to be special. And as one of those people who’s become a hider, I really long for the old days where although I was shy, I was still able to go out and enjoy the simple pleasures we have almost all forgotten.  Maybe that is all it takes — just the memories of old to help remake our future so that the child in us, still exists. Out with the new, well — not all the way out, but make room for the old too, because without it we’d have nothing to remember what it takes to live.

Do yourself a favour, and go out and live like the old isn’t dead! 🙂



Capture the Flag — of Motivation

Is it just me, or do you ever find that you’re always playing a game of capture the flag — the flag being your motivation for getting things on your to-do list done? When I’m out driving around I am overcome with ideas and ambition for getting my chores caught up, like cleaning my apartment, or making phone calls that will boost my career and my life, or even making a fully home-cooked meal for myself, but, when I get home all of that drive and ambition flies out the window, and all I end up doing is curling up in my bed, or on the couch and watching TV or movies, or checking out my social media feeds and watch other people do the things I told myself I was going to do when I got home. Why is it that when you are not where the chores are, the motivation to complete your tasks is at full throttle, but when you are present with the chores, the ambition is so hard to keep a hold of – at least until the middle of the night when you’re lying in bed trying to get to sleep, but you’re kept awake thinking about the things you told yourself you would, but didn’t do and then it all flares back up, and you end up doing a couple of things on your list, getting less sleep than you intended just so you can feel you did something? Is it just laziness, or is it that when we are faced with the decisions that will better our lives and our homes we just get so overwhelmed that our nervous systems go haywire and fry out our energy?

If I could possess a superpower I would choose to have an endless sea of motivation that doesn’t die out. Don’t you? In this world where everyone including ourselves expects perfection and “big things” for and of us, are we putting too much pressure on the common tasks of everyday life?

Thoughts, opinions, advice?



Welcome 2018!


It’s a new year and as I sit here watching Sex and the City reruns I felt like getting into my own Carrie Bradshaw state of mind and had a thought come into my head, why is it that when you’re sitting home alone, with no-one but you and your cats in your room do you get that “look-through-your-fingers” cringe of discomfort when something is shown on screen, like a love scene or in this case watching two characters watch a love scene? I instantly got this full body rush run through me and also instantly became aware of how silly that is. Was that the show writers’ intention? Or was that just my interpretation of the writing based on my own experiences in my own awkward life? Do you ever wonder why we feel the things we feel? Are feelings developed from life, or are we born feeling things like discomfort, embarrassment and shame? How do we break free of those chains and just let ourselves be free to feel what we want to feel and let go of the limitations?

With this new year comes a whole new world for me as I exit my 20’s and enter my 30’s, I am going to be allow myself to be the me I’ve always wanted, and make my 30’s and beyond the best and happiest of my life.

Happy 2018 everyone! 🙂